Wedding Planner Q&A – Pregnant Bridesmaid
Thursday, December 10th, 2009
Posted in Planning Advice , Wedding Planner Q&A
In our weekly Wedding Planner Q&A we look at how to deal with common anxieties, questions and problems that often crop up when you’re planning a wedding. Today I’m offering advice on what to do when your bridesmaid announces that she’s pregnant part way through your planning.
I’ve chosen my bridesmaids and bought their dresses, but my chief bridesmaid has now told me that she’s expecting a baby and will be 7 ½ months pregnant by the time of the wedding. She knew she was pregnant when I asked her to be a bridesmaid and didn’t say anything, but she’s still expecting to fulfil her role. I’m really pleased for her but I’m quite upset that she didn’t tell me from the outset. I don’t want a heavily pregnant bridesmaid in my photographs, but how can I tell her without upsetting her or losing her friendship?
I would say that the main issue here is that your friend is probably going to struggle to be a bridesmaid at this late stage of her pregnancy. A wedding is a long and tiring day, and as your chief bridesmaid she’s going to have a lot of responsibility looking after you and helping you with your dress, as well as keeping an eye on things throughout the day. By the time your wedding arrives she’s obviously going to have a large bump, and I would imagine she’s going to feel quite tired and achy if she stands for long periods of time.
I would explain to her that you’re worried that being a bridesmaid is going to be too much for her. Tell her that you want her to enjoy the day and you don’t want her getting worn out. Also explain to her that you need someone who is able to run around after you on the day, bend to straighten your dress for photographs and generally make sure you stay calm and relaxed – you’re not going to feel you can ask her to do things for you because of her being heavily pregnant.
Talk through your concerns with her and tell her that you would rather she attend as a guest so that she can enjoy the day and take breaks when she needs them, and also so you don’t end up worrying about whether things are too much for her. She could still help you organise your hen party, and could play a role in the day by giving a reading during the ceremony.
If you have a question you’d like to share, drop me an e-mail at with “ Wedding Planner Q&A ” as the title and I’ll be sure to feature it here on the blog.