Wedding Planner Q&A – Divorced Parents
Wednesday, October 28th, 2009
Posted in Planning Advice , Wedding Planner Q&A
In our weekly Wedding Planner Q&A we look at how to deal with common anxieties, questions and problems that often crop up when you’re planning a wedding, and today we’re looking at how to deal with divorced parents at the wedding.
My parents got divorced some time ago and now both have new partners. They don’t get along at all and I’m worried that they’ll start arguing at the wedding. Do you have any advice as to how we can make sure they don’t ruin our day?
Family situations like this are always difficult and stressful to negotiate, but there is no excuse for anyone spoiling your wedding day. I would suggest you speak to them and voice your concerns. Explain to them how much it means to you that everyone enjoys the day, and that you don’t want events that have happened in the past causing friction or spoiling the celebration. They may not realise that you’re worried about their potential behaviour, so talking to them may help them understand how important this day is for you and that they need to be on their best behaviour.
As a safeguard, avoid seating them near each other at the wedding breakfast. There are a couple of options on how you can do this. You could seat your parents at opposite ends of the table, so ensuring they can’t really talk to each other – make sure you seat them at equal distances from you to avoid any petty comments about one being sat nearer and so seeming more important.
Alternatively you could dispatch with the top table all together and have a table for just the two of you. You can then seat your mum and dad and their partners on completely separate tables with other family members, asking each one to act as a ‘host’ for that table. Finally, ask a close friend or relative who understands the situation to keep an eye on them and act as an intermediary if it looks like tensions are rising.
If you have a question you’d like to share, drop me an e-mail at with “ Wedding Planner Q&A ” as the title, and I’ll be sure to feature it here on the blog.